


Falling

by tiddywrites



Series: Leobin - School AU [2]
Category: K-pop, VIXX
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Fluff and Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-22
Updated: 2017-02-24
Packaged: 2018-09-26 06:22:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 14
Words: 18,538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9871292
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tiddywrites/pseuds/tiddywrites
Summary: After Taekwoon and Hakyeon enrolled in college, there hasn't been much time for the six friends to hang out. This has especially taken it's toll on Hongbin and Wonshik - the boyfriends of Taekwoon and Hakyeon respectively - who are stuck in their third year at the old high school.Taekwoon tries his best to spend all the time he possibly can with the one he loves. But after one fateful night, the friendship between the boys will maybe be ruined forever.





	1. Chapter 1

”TAEKWOON!” Taekwoon turned his head, when he heard his name being shouted from the other side of the coffee shop. It didn’t take long until he spotted the guy with the dimpled smiled.  
“Hongbin…” he said in a surprised tone and quickly looked around to check, that no one from school was around. After confirming that no one was around, he looked up to smile back at Hongbin who was moving towards him. He was wearing a big black jacket and his cheeks were red from the cold outside. Taekwoon’s heart fluttered at the sight of him. After all it had been several weeks since he had last seen his boyfriend.  
“Hey! How have you been?” Hongbin asked and leaned in for a hug. Taekwoon turned his head again to see, if anyone from the school was at the coffee shop. So the kiss Hongbin tried to plant on his lips ended up on his cheek.  
“I’ve been fine,” Taekwoon said with a soft voice, his hands around Hongbins waist. “How about you?”. An elderly man grunted in an annoyed tone beside them, and it wasn’t until then Taekwoon realized they were blocking the line to the desk. They let go off each other, and politely bowed and apologized before moving aside, to let the man enter the line.  
“Do you want to sit down, or-?” Hongbin asked gesturing towards one of the tables in the coffee shop, but Taekwoon shook his head.  
“I’m sorry…” he said in a light voice: “I’ve got to catch a train soon”. Hongbin lowered his head and nodded, understanding that Taekwoon was busy.  
“Maybe we can hang out another day?” Taekwoon suggested lifting Hongbins chin up with his index finger, so they were able to get eye contact. “I just really need to get back and finish this assignment-“.  
“It’s alright,” Hongbin said and smiled at Taekwoon. “We’ll find another day”. Taekwoon’s name was called at the desk, and he left Hongbin for a short while to grab his coffee.  
After winning the talent show a few months back, both Hakyeon and Taekwoon had both been offered a scholarship for a college. So after the summer holiday they had moved into the school dorms, where they were now roommates. Hakyeon was majoring in dancing and Taekwoon was majoring in vocal performance. They both were very happy with the college, but as it was located quite far from their hometown, they didn’t get to see Hongbin, Wonshik, Jaehwan and Sanghyuk as much as they would like to.  
“What did you order?” Taekwoon asked Hongbin, when he returned. He took a small sip of the latte he had just received.  
“I didn’t order anything yet,” Hongbin admitted. “I was just about to get in the line when I spotted you”.  
“Oh,” Taekwoon said in a flustered tone. “I’m sorry”. A light giggle escaped Hongbin at Taekwoon’s words.  
“Don’t be,” he said with a smile, before suddenly changing the subject. “When is your train leaving?”. Taekwoon raised his arm to look at the watch around his wrists. He squinted his eyes lightly, as he read the numbers on the display.  
“In 15 minutes,” he said and raised his cup of coffee. “I just came to buy this for the trip”. Hongbin nodded and formed a silent “oh” with his lips.  
“Well… if you don’t mind, I could walk you there?” he suggested. He lowered his gaze, afraid that Taekwoon would decline his offer. After all the station wasn’t far from the coffee shop, so walking him there seemed pointless. But with a finger under Hongbin’s chin, Taekwoon made him look up again.  
“I would love that,” he said and send Hongbin a small smile.  
*  
“So what brings you here, anyway,” Hongbin asked, as he and Taekwoon walked down the street. “Why didn’t you tell me, you were coming back?”. Taekwoon shrugged lightly.  
“My sister just left her boyfriend, so I just came to help her move,” he explained. “It was my plan to call you, if we were done early… but we weren’t.” His last sentence almost sounded apologetic, so Hongbin quickly answered: “It’s fine though… I’ve been preparing for a test tomorrow anyway.” It was a lie, but Hongbin didn’t want Taekwoon to feel bad. It wasn’t his fault, that he was busy.  
Hongbin looked down at Taekwoon’s bare hand, which had been colored blue by the cold. Hongbin was wearing a couple of gloves, his grandmother had knitted him, and even he could slightly feel the cold wind through the gloves. So he reached out and grabbed Taekwoon’s hand. A gesture that came to him quite natural. But Taekwoon almost pulled away, as he quickly looked around to assure, that no one was around. After confirming, that he and Hongbin were the only people there, he took Hongbin’s hand. Hongbin tried to not make too much out of it, but they walked the rest of the way in silence.  
*  
It was 4 minutes before the train was leaving, and quite a big bunch of people was already waiting by the station. As Hongbin and Taekwoon walked closer, Taekwoon let go of Hongbin’s hand and instead slipped his hand into his pocket.  
“So I guess this is where we say goodbye?” Hongbin said looking up at Taekwoon. They hadn’t seen each other in weeks, and just the thought of having to let Taekwoon go made Hongbin’s stomach hurt. He just wanted to keep him for a little while longer. Then they could go home and curl up on the sofa together to watch a movie – just like they used to. Taekwoon would fall asleep halfway through the movie, and Hongbin would only notice it, because Taekwoon would stop eating all the snacks. But Hongbin wouldn’t mind. Watching Taekwoon sleep was the nicest and most peaceful thing in the world.  
“I guess so,” Taekwoon mumbled stretching his neck, trying to spot if the train was near. Hongbin bit his lip and looked up at the older guy. It wasn’t until when the train shortly after was in sight, that Taekwoon turned around to look at his boyfriend.  
“Have a nice trip, jagiya,” Hongbin said, forcing a smile on his lips, and leaned in to kiss Taekwoon. But Taekwoon pulled away, putting his index finger on Hongbin’s lips.  
“What is the matter with you?”, Hongbin asked in a tiny voice: “Are… are you embarrassed by me?”. Taekwoon shook his head.  
“Of course not, how could you think that!” Taekwoon said in a surprised voice and grabbed Hongbin’s shoulder. “You could never embarrass me.” He took a quick look around before he leaned closer to Hongbin, and whispered into his ear: “But that guy over there is from my school… and I would appreciate if he didn’t make me the big gossip topic of the school”. Taekwoon looked up, as the train finally arrived at the station, and took a step away from Hongbin.  
“Take this,” he said with his usual soft voice, and handed Hongbin the coffee. “Take it as my thanks for walking with me.” He smiled at the younger boy, as he accepted the coffee. Hongbin had lowered his head again, and was only nodding at Taekwoon’s words. Taekwoon lightly caressed his arm.  
“I’ll call you as soon as I can, okay?” he said trying to make eye contact with Hongbin. Hongbin slowly looked up, as he opened his mouth to answer Taekwoon, but was immediately cut off by a loud voice coming from behind him.  
“Hey, Taekwoon is that you?” the guy asked. Taekwoon quickly moved his hand from Hongbin. He was quite small compared to Taekwoon, and Hongbin recalled seeing him in one of the pictures Hakyeon had send them from their school.  
“Minhyuk…” Taekwoon said. “What are you doing here?”  
“My grandma lives here,” Minhyuk said with a big smile on his face. “But what about you, who’s your friend here?”. Hongbin’s gaze nervously shifted between Taekwoon and Minhyuk, before he finally stammered: “M-my name’s Lee Hongbin.”  
“Nice to meet you, I’m Lee Minhyuk,” Minhyuk said and bowed lightly, before grabbing Taekwoon’s arm. “We better get on the train before it takes off without us.” Taekwoon nodded and grabbed his bag to follow Minhyuk inside the train.  
“I’ll see you then,” Taekwoon said and smiled slightly at Hongbin.  
“I’m gonna miss you, Taek-“  
“Taekwoon, hurry up!” Minhyuk called from a few meters away, finally making Taekwoon follow him into the train. Hongbin stood outside and watched, as Taekwoon and Minhyuk found a seat together. They seemed to fall into conversation rather quickly, and Hongbin saw Taekwoon’s face crack in a grin. He didn’t remember when he had last heard Taekwoon laugh. He sure did miss it.  
Shortly after, the train took off and Hongbin raised his arm to wave at Taekwoon. But Taekwoon seemed to be too immersed into his conversation to see Hongbin, so Hongbin quickly lowered his arm again.  
Taekwoon sure seemed to have had grown very fond of his new friends at his school. Maybe even more than Hongbin.  
But that was ridiculous.  
Right?


	2. Chapter 2

“Bro, I was just about to go to bed,” Wonshik groaned in the other end of the phone.   
“I just met Taekwoon,” Hongbin said in a calm tone. He was lying on his back on his bed after getting home from the city. His cheeks were still red from the cold. He had placed the still full coffee on his nightstand. It had turned cold.  
“What? Where?” Wonshik asked in a surprised tone.   
“At a coffee shop,” Hongbin answered, and quickly added: “But he had to catch a train… so we didn’t really get to speak for long.” A small sigh escaped his lips.   
“Are you alright?” Wonshik asked in a concerned voice. “Did something happen?”. Hongbin shook his head, but then realized that Wonshik couldn’t see him.   
“I’m just… worried,” Hongbin mumbled. “It kinda felt like… It was like he didn’t really… like me anymore?” Wonshik chuckled, but quickly stopped when Hongbin remained silent.  
“Oh… you were being serious,” Wonshik said in a surprised tone. “Hongbin… that’s silly, why wouldn’t he?” Hongbin exhaled deeply before telling Wonshik about his meeting with Taekwoon. How he had rejected his kisses and how he had let go of Hongbin at the sight of the guy from his school.  
“Don’t think too much about it,” Wonshik said, when Hongbin had finished talking. “Hakyeon told me, that people at their school aren’t that open about their relationships. You know Taekwoon – he probably just didn’t want to draw any attention to himself.” Hongbin remained silent. He knew that Wonshik was right, but at the same time he couldn’t shake off the feeling, that it was him who was the problem.  
“Hongbin”  
“… Yeah”  
“It’s gonna be alright.”  
“Well if you say so.”  
“It wouldn’t hurt if you sounded a little more convinced.” A small smile crept across Hongbin’s lips, and he chuckled slightly.  
“Alright alright... I believe you,” he said and scratched his nose lightly. “You can go back to sleep now then. I’ve got the advice I needed”  
“Well not quite yet, there was actually something I wanted to ask you.”  
“Really? Well, what was that?”   
“I was wondering if you’re going to that party at Hakyeon’s friend’s place.”  
“That was the plan - are you coming?”  
“Yeah I think so,” Wonshik said. “Jaehwan can’t make it, though… you know - with the musical and all.” Hongbin nodded, not even minding that Wonshik couldn’t see him. Jaehwan had already been complaining about the date of the party, as he had to go to musical practice early the next day. Sanghyuk wasn’t going either, as he was going away with his family for the weekend.

“Wonshik.”  
“… Hm?”  
“Go to bed.”  
“What, why? Aren’t I good enough for you?”  
“I can hear you snoring”

*

20:21  
I’m done with my homework; do you have time for a call? <3 - HB  
✓Seen 20:30   
20:55  
Sure - TW  
Hongbin opened a new tap on his computer to open Skype. It had been a couple of days, since he had bumped into Taekwoon, but yet this was the only thing Hongbin had heard from him since that day. He didn’t want to complain about it. He knew Taekwoon was busy and all… but a simple “How are you?” or “I miss you” once in a while would be nice.   
It rang for a few seconds, before Taekwoon popped up on the screen. His black hair was a mess, and Hongbin could (despite the terrible quality of the video) see the slight redness in his cheeks. He looked pretty tired, and Hongbin couldn’t help but feel a bit guilty for making him call him.  
“Could you maybe bend you screen a little?” Hongbin asked shaking the thoughts out of his head. Taekwoon did as he was told, and with a soft voice asked: “Better?” Hongbin smiled at him and nodded. A slightly awkward silence arose between them, until Taekwoon after a few moments cleared his throat and asked: “So… How’s school?” Hongbin shrugged.  
“Same old same old,” he answered. “It’s not quite the same without you.” Taekwoon snorted lightly.  
“I bet it would make no difference whether I was there or not”  
“It would!” Hongbin assured him. “I miss you, jagiya”. Taekwoon quickly looked over his shoulder with a startled expression, and said in a weirdly high pitched tone: “Ha ha, you’re funny.” Hongbin frowned and only watched as Taekwoon franticly wrote something on his keyboard. A few seconds later Hongbin received a message, and he quickly went back to the previous tap to read it.  
21:04  
My roommate is here - TW  
Hongbin lifted his eyebrow, and started typing an answer. While doing so he asked: “But what about you, how’s college?” just to fill out the silence.  
21:04  
What does it matter? - HB  
“It’s pretty cool,” Taekwoon answered with a nod. “I get to sing a lot, so that’s nice… but the amount of homework is HUGE.”  
21:05  
He doesn’t know that I’m in a relationship - TW  
Hongbin had a hard time controlling his voice, making it sound calm, as they continued their conversation. “Well I’m glad to hear that… It would be nice if we could meet up some weekend, you know, like we used to.”  
21:05  
And so what? It’s none of his business anyway - HB  
“Yeah… that would be nice I guess,” Taekwoon answered, and Hongbin could sense a touch of annoyance in his voice. “We have a lot of assignments the coming few weeks though… but maybe in the Christmas break.”  
21:06  
You don’t understand it. People are different here - TW  
Hongbin sighed. “Probably… unless you’re too busy of course... seeing your family and all.”  
21:06  
What do you mean? Are you embarrassed about who you are or what? - HB  
Taekwoon suddenly turned quiet. The only sound coming from the other end was Taekwoon’s tapping on the keyboard, and the distant sound of someone singing.  
21:07  
You’re so childish - TW  
Hongbin bit his lip, trying to hold back the tears that Taekwoon’s harsh words had provoked. At that moment he really just wanted to slam down his computer and walk away. But he still had a teeny tiny hope, that maybe it was possible for him, to save this conversation. He had a tiny hope that Taekwoon would apologize.   
21:07  
Why are you like this? Have I done something wrong? - HB  
Hongbin sat in silence awaiting Taekwoon’s answer. But Taekwoon didn’t say anything. Neither did he type anything. His eyes wandered from the keyboard to the other side of the room, before looking straight back at Hongbin.  
“I’m sorry,” he said. “But I have to go.”   
“Taekwoon wai-,” Hongbin called, but was cut off by the low pitched sound, of the call ending.  
21:07  
Why are you like this? Have I done something wrong? - HB  
✓Seen 21:08


	3. Chapter 3

The tires screeched loudly under the train, as it pulled into the station. Hongbin, who was sitting with his head against the window half asleep, quickly got up from his seat. He grabbed his back, and went towards the nearest exit to get off the train. As soon as he got out on the station, he looked around trying to spot a known face. But no matter where he looked, only new faces looked back at him. His heart started beating faster, as he walked further away from the train, but still didn’t see either Taekwoon or Hakyeon.  
“Hongbin!” Hongbin sighed in relief, as he finally heard a well-known voice. He turned his head and finally saw Hakyeon walking towards him in a high pace. He laid his arms around the younger boy, as soon as he reached him, and pulled him into a tight hug. It had been months since Hongbin had received a hug like this, and a warm rush of comfort flushed through his body, as he laid his arms around Hakyeon to return the hug.  
“I’ve missed you so much!” Hakyeon happily said in a high pitched voice as he rocked Hongbin from side to side. A big smile spread across Hongbin’s lips, and he let out a small chuckle.   
“I can’t breathe,” he laughed as Hakyeon was squeezing him too tightly. Hakyeon loosened his grip and pulled out of the hug, revealing the big smile decorating his face. He still had his grip on Hongbin’s upper arms taking a good look at his face.  
“It’s been far too long,” Hakyeon sighed. “Have you been eating healthy? Are you getting enough sleep? I hope the teachers aren’t being too rough on you with homework… “   
“Don’t worry I’ve been fine, mom,” Hongbin said with a cheeky smile. Hakyeon laughed with a: “Yah!” and let go of Hongbin’s arms to teasingly hit the side of his hand against Hongbin’s neck.  
“Come,” Hakyeon said when he finished laughing. “We should probably get to that party.”

*

“You haven’t spoken since?”  
“No… I don’t really know what to say to him...” Hakyeon frowned and took a quick look at Hongbin, before focusing his eyes on the road again.  
“He has been acting kinda weird… but you know, I just assumed he was being his usual quiet self,” Hakyeon said, before sighing lightly. “God… sometimes I could just punch him in the face.”  
“It wasn’t his fault though… I was pushing him too far.”  
“Well…” Hakyeon said and looked thoughtful for a moment before continuing. “None of you handled the situation very well… I’m sure he isn’t mad about it though.” Hongbin shrugged lightly and leaned his face against the cold car window. He watched the cars driving past them, and the buildings they passed, as he tried to shake the feeling of him. He knew both Wonshik and Hakyeon believed that Taekwoon wasn’t mad at Hongbin. But lately Hongbin had been wondering far more about it. He constantly tried to push it away, but the thought was always lurking in the back of his head.  
“So… you don’t think it’s my fault, that he isn’t coming tonight?”  
“Of course not!” Hakyeon said in a surprised tone. “They’ve got a big presentation in his class on Monday, so he and his partner are trying to finish their project tonight.” Hongbin nodded, and said: “Seems like everyone bailed on us today.” Wonshik had been supposed to come with Hongbin, but unfortunately he had fallen ill the day before the party, and was still pretty sick.   
“It’s a shame,” Hakyeon said with a little smile. “I think this party is gonna be pretty wild – they’re gonna miss out big time.” Hongbin nodded in agreement, and a with a thoughtful tone he mumbled: “I’m sure it’s gonna be a night to remember.”

Hongbin and Hakyeon could hear the music being played loudly from inside the house as they approached it. Hongbin had left his bag in Hakyeon’s car. It didn’t really contain anything of great value. A book for the train and a toothbrush for later were honestly the most important things in his bag at this moment. Hakyeon’s friend, Gunhee, who was throwing the party, had offered Hakyeon and Hongbin to spend the night at the place, as he knew they had quite a long way home. So of course Hongbin had only brought the most necessary things. Hakyeon knocked on the door and luckily it didn’t take long until someone opened the door. They were met by a tall slim boy with dyed ash-blonde hair. He seemed to already be quite drunk.  
“Hakyeon!” the guy said in an overly-excited voice and leaped forward to hug Hakyeon, who stumbled a step back. “I’m so happy you guys could be here, man.” Hakyeon lightly patted his back with a smile.  
“Thanks for inviting us,” Hakyeon said and discreetly pulled out of the hug. He turned to Hongbin and gesticulated towards the guy, as he said: “Hongbin, this is Gunhee.” Hongbin opened his mouth to greet Hakyeon’s friend, but immediately got cut off, when Gunhee grabbed him and Hakyeon by the wrists.  
“Come in, come in!” Gunhee said as he dragged Hakyeon and Hongbin inside the house. Gunhee dragged them through the entrance, all the way to the living room. They met various people on the way, and Hakyeon seemed to know most of them, as he friendly greeted almost everyone they passed. They reached the living room, where a big crowd of people were gathered. A lot of them were dancing in the middle of the room, but others were sitting in the sofa or in the corners of the room - drinking and talking.  
“Let me fetch you something to drink!” Gunhee said when he finally released Hakyeon and Hongbin. “What do you want?” He had to raise his voice greatly to be able to be heard over the loud music. Hakyeon leaned closer to request a drink, that Hongbin wasn’t able to hear. Gunhee patted Hakyeon’s shoulder and loudly said: “Great choice, great choice!” before turning to Hongbin.  
“I-I don’t know,” he said with a slight stammer. “I haven’t really tried that much before.” When he had been invited to the party, Hongbin had chosen not to tell Hakyeon that this would be his first “real” party - and especially that it was his first time drinking. For a second he feared, that Gunhee would laugh at his answer, but Gunhee just nodded, and said: “Then I know EXACTLY what you should try.”

*

“HONGBIIIIIIN! MY HONGBIN WHERE HAVE YOU GONE?” Hakyeon called as he walked through the house. He pushed through the groups of dancing people, walked past the toilet line and went up the stairs.   
“KONG!” Hakyeon yelled as he walked down the hall while knocking on all doors he passed - receiving an annoyed groan from two of the rooms. This didn’t seem to face him as he continued his search for his friend while chanting his name. He didn’t seem quite steady on his feet, and it was clear, that he had had too much to drink already.  
“HAKYEEEOON!” he finally heard Hongbin call from one of the rooms. He stumbled a few steps forward and abruptly opened the door. The lights were off in the room, and the only light in the room came from the lamppost that was standing outside the window. Hongbin was lying on his back on the bed.  
“Hongbin?” Hakyeon called with an overdramatized whisper. “Are you asleep?”  
“Noooo!” Hongbin said in an even louder whisper followed by a giggle. Hakyeon snorted and walked over to the bed to fall down beside Hongbin. He was ended up on his stomach with his arm sprawled across Hongbin’s stomach.   
“Why are you lying here?” Hakyeon asked and turned his head to look at Hongbin, who snorted loudly.  
“I’m hiding,” he said sluggishly with a big grin. “There’s a girl after me.”  
“There’s no time for hiding,” Hakyeon said. “You need to come and dance with me.”  
“I don’t want to!” Hongbin whined with a frown. “I’m waaaaaaay too dizzy.”  
“You’re so BORING!” Hakyeon said with a pout and lightly pushed Hongbin with his feet. “Come and dance with me.”  
“No no no, go find someone else!”  
“Pleeeeeeease.”   
“Nooooo.”  
“Geez, you’re just as boring as your boyfriend!” Hakyeon whined. “Live a little Lee Hongbin!” Hongbin groaned and finally got up from the bed as he said: “Alright, alright, alright!” Hakyeon squealed happily and quickly jumped out of the bed. He grabbed Hongbin by the hand and dragged him to the living room.   
Some of the guest had already gone home and others were spread around the house. So when Hakyeon and Hongbin reached the living room, there were only a few people, who were still dancing. This included Gunhee, who was dancing with his dog. The stereo had shifted to a slow song, so it was mainly the couples of the party who were dancing.   
“Come come!” Hakyeon said as he dragged Hongbin to the middle of the dancing crowd. Hongbin giggled.  
“We can’t dance to this,” he laughed. “The song is too slow!” Hakyeon snorted.  
“Of course we can!” he said as he laid his hands on Hongbin’s shoulders. “No homo of course!” Hakyeon winked very obviously followed by a light giggle. Hongbin nodded and couldn’t help but giggle as he placed his hands on Hakyeon’s hips.  
“Okay, we’ll do this in a very heterosexual and bro-like way then,” Hongbin said trying to sound serious, even though he still had a big grin on his face. Hakyeon nodded as he got closer to Hongbin, slowly swaying from side to side along to the music.   
“Look, I’ll do a cool twirl!” Hakyeon suddenly said and grabbed Hongbin’s hand before doing a very non-elegant twirl - keeping a tight grip in Hongbin’s hand all the way. Returning to sway from side to side it seemed as he got even closer to Hongbin. Hongbin snorted.   
“That was beautiful!” Hongbin said. “I must say your PARTNER is very lucky.” He was very careful not to mention the gender of the so called “partner”, and felt like he did a splendid job of hiding their secret. Little did he know that Gunhee (who was probably the only person capable of hearing their conversation) was well aware that Hakyeon had a boyfriend. Hakyeon grinned.  
“I know right!” he said. “Your PARTNER is very lucky as well.”   
“He is?” Hongbin said in a surprised tone. “It doesn’t seem that way.” Hakyeon shook his head.  
“Of course he is!” he said with a light chuckle. “You LOOK great, you ARE great! Everyone dating you should fell really lucky.” Hakyeon smiled and rested his forehead against Hongbin’s forehead, as he wanted to be sure, that Hongbin could hear him properly.   
“You are amazing, Hongbin,” Hakyeon said with a soft voice.  
Hongbin wasn’t quite sure what made him do it. Whether it was the huge amount of alcohol in his blood or some unknown desire coming from deep inside of him. All he knew was that at right that moment, Hakyeon seemed like the most beautiful, wonderful thing in the world. So he moved his head a bit down and locked his lips with Hakyeon’s. Hakyeon seemed a bit startled at first, but just as Hongbin thought he would pull away, his hands moved from his shoulders and slipped behind his neck as he pulled Hongbin closer. A light flashed behind them, but they were both too far away to even notice. Hongbin had his eyes closed and for a second, he even forgot who he was kissing, but all the self-doubt he had felt the past weeks disappeared as a warm feeling spread from his stomach to all corners of his body. He only let go of Hakyeon’s lips for a split second to get air, before locking them together again. Hakyeon grabbed his shirt tightly and dragged him over to the, now empty, sofa. With a light push in the chest Hakyeon made Hongbin lay down on the sofa, and careful not to elbow Hongbin in the face, Hakyeon crawled on top of him.  
“You know…” Hakyeon said trying to hold in his laughter. “No homo though.”


	4. Chapter 4

His chest slowly went up and down. Hongbin rested his head on top of it and listened to the soothing sound of his heartbeat. Badump… badump… badump. He snored lightly – almost inaudible.   
Taekwoon never snored.   
Hongbin opened his eyes and carefully lifted his head to see Hakyeon, who was sleeping beside him. His arm was around Hongbin as if he was protecting him from falling off the sofa. With a loud groan Hongbin shut his eyes again, as the light coming from the windows made his head pound even worse than it already did. He tried to hide his face in Hakyeon’s shirt, but the sudden noise had woken the older boy up, and he slowly started to move. He immediately tried to pull away when he saw Hongbin.  
“Shit!” he exclaimed loudly as he sat up and ran his fingers through his hair. “Holy shit, Hongbin.” Hongbin winched.  
“Please lower your voice,” he pleaded with a low voice but Hakyeon was far too out of it to listen. He got off the sofa and started frantically walking around the living room.   
“We didn’t do anything last night,” Hakyeon muttered like in a trance, before abruptly stopping and turning to Hongbin. “Did we?” Hongbin squinted his eyes to looked up at Hakyeon and slowly shook his head. “No… I’m pretty sure we didn’t.” His words didn’t seem to ease Hakyeon, as he continued walking around in circles while rambling on.   
“What would Wonshik think!” he muttered while pulling his black hair. “He would never trust me again!” Hongbin sat up but immediately leaned forward to rest his head against his knees, as the sudden motion made him feel dizzy. Hakyeon finally stopped.  
“What´s wrong?” he asked and walked back to Hongbin. “Are you feeling sick?” Hongbin was hugging his thighs tightly and pressed his head against his knees as he did everything in his power to kill the overwhelming urge to be sick all over the floor.  
“I’ll get you some water.” Hakyeon said when he didn’t receive an answer, and rushed to the kitchen. He got a glass from the cupboard and filled it with water before quickly returning to the living room. Hongbin had sat up while he was away, and even though he was a bit pale he seemed to had gotten hold of himself.  
“Here,” Hakyeon said and handed Hongbin the glass. Hongbin mumbled a little: “Thanks,” as he received the water, and carefully drank it. He spilled some down his chin and as he tried to dry it off, he almost dropped the glass. Hakyeon was quick to grab it.   
“Be careful,” he said and couldn’t help but smile at Hongbin’s clumsiness. Hongbin nodded and let Hakyeon take the glass, so he could dry off his chin with his sleeve.   
“Sorry,” he apologized. “This isn’t my greatest moment.” Hakyeon snorted.  
“Guess that goes for both of us,” he sighed. “I should probably get you home.” Hongbin lifted his head and smiled softly at Hakyeon.  
“Thank you…”  
“No problem”  
“No really I-“  
“Hongbin?”  
“Yeah?”  
“Can we please never tell about this to anyone?” Hakyeon said with a begging voice. Hongbin looked at him with a surprised expression as he answered: “Of course… we didn’t mean anything by it… alcohol makes you do stupid stuff!” A somewhat sad smiled crept over Hakyeon’s lips.  
“Let’s go home.”

*

“I swear I’m never going to drink that much again,” Hongbin growled and leaned back in the seat in an attempt to get more comfortable. He had forgotten his own sunglasses at home, so Gunhee had borrowed him a pair to spare his sore eyes from the light on his way home.   
“Maybe we should just never drink again… at all,” Hakyeon suggested with a little smile. He was sitting in the seat beside Hongbin on the train. Hongbin had assured him, that he was capable of getting home on his own, but Hakyeon had insisted, that he went with him to be completely sure that he got home safely.   
“I’ll definitely consider that,” Hongbin said with a small smile. They had been driving for a little more than an hour, so they still had a long way to go. Hakyeon knew he had a ton of homework for Monday, but he hoped that he would be able to finish them the next day. He turned his head to look at Hongbin, who seemed to have a hard time getting comfortable in the seat.  
“Hongbin.” Hakyeon called him with a gentle voice, which made Hongbin stop and look at him. “You can just lay down if that’s more comfortable for you.” Hongbin frowned lightly at his offer, as he really wanted to lay down – but at the same time he couldn’t help but feel… weird.   
“Are you sure?” Hongbin asked. “I don’t want to bother you.” Hakyeon shook his head.   
“We have known each other for so many years,” Hakyeon said with a little smile. “How long will it take you to realize, that you never bother me.” He moved a little closer to the window and removed the arm rest which parted their seats.   
“Come,” he said in an almost demanding tone and patted his lap. Hongbin looked thoughtful for a moment before finally doing as he was told, and laid down with his head in Hakyeon’s lap. He sighed lightly as he finally got comfortable.   
“Maybe you should take off your sunglasses,” Hakyeon said with a light chuckled. Hongbin only hummed lightly in response, so Hakyeon carefully moved his arm to take off Hongbin’s sunglasses. The younger boy looked like he was already sleeping, and Hakyeon couldn’t help but smile at his peaceful face. Hongbin had always been like a younger brother to Hakyeon. He had watched him grow into the person he was today, and more than anything he wished that they could just forget, that this weekend ever happened. He didn’t want anything to change.

*

♪ Breathtaking and fantastic   
Fly to the world you want  
I can give you everything, what do you want?  
Trust me, oh I will protect you girl ♪

Hakyeon was suddenly awoken, when his phone started ringing. He lifted his head from the cold train window, and grabbed his phone from the table. “Jung Hamji” it stated on the display, and Hakyeon quickly accepted the call.  
“Taekwoon?” he said in a surprised tone. “What’s up?”   
“Gunhee told me you went to bring Hongbin home,” Taekwoon said with a soft voice. “How far are you?” After making sure Hongbin had gotten home safely, Hakyeon hadn’t been able to get on a train until one and a half hour later. After finally getting on the train, he had immediately fallen asleep, resulting in him now having no clue of how far he was. His eyes wandered to the clock over the door. 18:43.  
“I’ve got about twenty minutes’ left of the train,” he muttered sleepily. “Why? Did something happen?” He could vaguely hear Taekwoon snort in the other end of the phone.  
“No, everything’s fine”, Taekwoon answered. “I was just wondering when you would be back.” Hakyeon smiled lightly.  
“I’ll probably be back in forty minutes’ time,” Hakyeon said. “Depending on the traffic of course.” He sat in silence waiting for a response from Taekwoon, but as his friend remained quiet as well he said: “But if that’s all I’ll go back to… being on the train I guess.”  
“There was something else I wanted to say,” Taekwoon quickly said, just as Hakyeon was about to hang up.  
“Well, I’m listening,” Hakyeon said and leaned back in his seat.  
“…Thank you,” Taekwoon said very lightly. “For making sure he got home safely.”  
“That’s the least I could do,” Hakyeon said with a small smile. “You, Hongbin, Wonshik, Jaehwan, Sanghyuk… I would have done it for either of you – you’re my family.”   
“You’re a great friend, Hakyeon…” Taekwoon said.  
“I’m doing my best,” Hakyeon said with a light chuckle. The smile slowly faded from his lips, as the feeling of guilt slowly dragged his heart down like a rock.


	5. Chapter 5

Sundays.  
Hakyeon liked Sundays. He liked the calm atmosphere that rested upon the dorms. He liked staying in bed, listening to the birds chirping outside his window mixed with the sound of his snoring roommate.   
What he didn’t like about Sundays, was waking up so ridiculously early. He didn’t know what caused it, but no matter what time he went to bed he was always sure to wake up as early as he would on a normal school day. So usually he would spend almost an hour twisting and turning in his bed, before he finally accepted that he wouldn’t be able to sleep any longer and get up. He tiptoed through the room, careful not to wake up his roommate, as he got his running clothes from the closet. It only took him a few minutes to put on the clothes, so after making sure his roommate was still sound asleep, he walked the last few steps to the door, and left the room.   
A small forest was located not far from the school, so Hakyeon would usually run the few kilometers while listening to a playlist on his phone. But as soon as he reached the forest, he would turn off the music and walk the path through the forest while taking it all in. The smells, the sounds.   
This run didn’t seem any different. Apart from the fact, that he spend a much longer time walking through the forest. There was just something about this day that seemed… odd. He couldn’t quite pinpoint what it was, but he had a feeling in his gut that something was wrong. He sat down on a bench, and pulled out his phone to make a call. It rang for a few moments, before someone finally picked up.  
“Hello?” Hongbin’s rusty voice sounded in the other end of the phone.   
“Hey” Hakyeon said in an excited tone. “How are you doing? What are you up to?” The line went silent for a bit, before Hongbin finally answered: “I’m just eating breakfast.” Hakyeon smiled softly.  
“I just wanted to check up on you,” he admitted.  
“I’m alright,” Hongbin answered. “Thanks for asking.”   
“Did you hear anything from Taekwoon?”  
“Well he called me yesterday to apologize for his behavior the last time we spoke… so I think we’re cool.” There was a short moment of rather awkward silence between the two, before Hakyeon finally, with a slightly timid voice, asked: “You didn’t… you didn’t tell him anything, did you?”   
“No of course not!” Hongbin said in a surprised tone. “Why would you think that?”  
“… I don’t know… Sorry for asking,” Hakyeon said with a thin voice while fiddling with the end of his shirt. “I’m just… I feel kinda weird today.”  
“Did anything happen?” Hongbin asked in a concerned voice. Hakyeon shook his head.  
“No…it’s just been a crazy weekend,” he sighed. “I really wish we could just forget that party ever happened.”   
“We can do that,” Hongbin said.  
“You mean that?” Hakyeon asked sounding a bit unsure of the whole situation.  
“Sure,” Hongbin said and Hakyeon could almost hear him smiling. “None of us meant anything by it, so there’s no need to make it into something big.”  
“I’m glad…” Hakyeon muttered with a little sigh. “I really worried this would ruin everything.” Hongbin snorted.  
“No of course not!” he assured Hakyeon. “You are one of my best friends! I could never let anything ruin that.” A tiny smile crept over Hakyeon’s lips.  
“Thank you,” he said feeling like a huge weight had been lifted off his shoulders. 

*

When Hakyeon got back to the dorms people had finally woken up and he couldn’t help but notice, that they all seemed far louder than usual. He walked by a big group of girls on his way to the entrance of the boys’ rooms, and as they passed each other, one of the girls snorted loudly in a failed attempt to stifle her laughter. They quickly hurried past Hakyeon, who could have sworn he heard them laughing as soon as they had gotten a few meters away from him. He tried to ignore it, as he opened the door to the boys’ building.

“That’s disgusting,” a short guy muttered to the crowd of people who were gathered around a spot on the wall. Their backs were facing the entrance door so Hakyeon could neither see who they were or what they were looking at. So carefully he managed to push through the crowd, so he could finally see what they were looking at. He froze.   
“I wouldn’t want to share a room with him,” another guy commented on the pictures that had been hung on the wall. “Imagine how his roommate must feel.” The first picture was a bit blurry but it definitely showed Hakyeon lying on top of another boy. The second picture was of Hakyeon as well, kissing the same boy who on this picture was easy to recognize as Hongbin. Hakyeon’s heart started beating rapidly as he leaped forward and tore the pictures down. After getting it down from the wall he immediately ripped it into pieces.  
“Isn’t that…” a guy whispered but Hakyeon quickly pushed his way out of the crowd before the guy could finish his sentence. He ran down the hall passing multiple copies of the pictures he had seen by the entrance. He made sure to tear down every single picture he passed, ignoring his vision that was starting to go fuzzy from his shallow breathing.   
Running to take down one of the pictures, he bumped into someone. It was Minhyuk - one of Taekwoon’s friends.  
“Watch where you’re going, fag!” Minhyuk hissed and pushed Hakyeon in the chest, resulting in him tripping over his own feet and falling to the floor. He dropped the torn pictures all over the floor and franticly tried to pick them up again with his shaking hands.   
“Hakyeon…” he heard a soft voice mutter next to him. He looked up and saw Taekwoon standing a few steps from him - holding one of the pictures in his hands. Hakyeon had only managed to crumple it slightly, so Taekwoon had easily straightened it.   
“It’s really not what it looks like,” Hakyeon said with a shaky voice and got up from the floor. “You have to believe me.” He reached out to put his hand on Taekwoon’s arm, but Taekwoon instantly pulled away.   
“Don’t touch me,” Taekwoon muttered. Hakyeon had never seen so much hatred in his eyes before.   
“How could you do something like that…” Taekwoon whispered almost inaudible. “You said you were my friend.” He slowly took a step away from Hakyeon.  
“I am your friend, Taekwoon!” Hakyeon said walking after Taekwoon.  
“No,” Taekwoon said with an ice cold voice. “You’re not my friend.” With those words he left Hakyeon alone in the hall standing in the pile of crumbled and torn pictures.


	6. Chapter 6

Ms. Lee looked up from her book, when she heard a loud knock on the door. She didn’t expect any visitors this day, so she was rather surprised by the sudden sound. She got up from her seat and walked out to the front door. She opened the door, and was surprised to be met by a young man on the other side of the door, whom she hadn’t seen for a long while.   
“Taekwoon!” she said with a smile on her lips. “It’s been so long, how have you been?” Taekwoon had never been a boy of many words, but still something seemed off about him today. Like something was troubling him.   
“I’ve been fine, thank you,” he said with a soft voice. “Is Hongbin home?” Ms. Lee nodded and took a step away from the entrance, to let Taekwoon inside.  
“He’s up in his room,” she said. “You can just go up.”  
“I was wondering if I could talk with him here,” Taekwoon said. “If that’s okay.” Ms. Lee was a little puzzled by his words, but still answered: “Sure, wait here for a second then,” before going upstairs to get her son. Taekwoon stood by the door in silence for a few moments, before Hongbin finally showed up. He immediately smiled when he saw Taekwoon. Taekwoon was stunned at how well he pretended, that nothing was wrong.  
“Hey!” Hongbin said in a happy tone. “Why didn’t you tell me you were coming?” Without a word, Taekwoon grabbed Hongbin by the wrist and pulled him outside, so that he was able to close the door. He wanted to spare Hongbin’s mother from the conversation they were about to have. Hongbin frowned at his strange behavior.   
“Are you alright?” he asked in a worried tone. “Did something happen.”  
“You should know that better than anyone” Taekwoon said in a soft voice. He didn’t even look at Hongbin.   
“What?” Hongbin asked in a confused tone. “I haven’t done anything, what are you talking about?”  
“Stop lying.”  
“I honestly have no idea what you’re talking about.” Taekwoon pulled a folded piece of paper out of his pocket and quietly unfolded it before holding it out in front of him, so Hongbin could see the picture of himself and Hakyeon kissing.   
“I’m giving you exactly one minute to explain this,” Taekwoon said in an alarmingly calm tone. Only his eyes showed the storm of emotions that was going on inside of him.  
“Where did you get that?” Hongbin asked with a shocked expression, his eyes fixated on the picture. His memory from that night was a little fuzzy, but he definitely didn’t recall any pictures getting taken at the party. The thought that someone had taken pictures without him knowing almost made him sick.  
“It doesn’t matter,” Taekwoon said.   
“It’s not what it looks like.”  
“Oh, it looks pretty clear to me.”  
“It was only a kiss, I didn’t mean anything by it,” Hongbin said starting to sound a bit frustrated. “We were really drunk!”  
“That’s no excuse!” Taekwoon said his voice slowly starting to increase in volume. “How am I supposed to trust you, when you just go off doing stuff like this!” Hongbin could feel the anger begin to boil inside of him.   
“Well, it didn’t seem like you would care anyway,” he muttered angrily. “It’s not like you’ve been dying to see me the last couple of months.” Taekwoon frowned at him.   
“Don’t change the subject,” he growled.  
“I’m not this is all one giant mess!” Hongbin exclaimed his voice becoming slightly high pitched. “If you had just once chosen to spend time with me and had showed up at the party then all of this wouldn’t have happened!”  
“Are you blaming me for this?”  
“Partially,… yes!”  
“You slept together with another man!”  
“We only kissed!”  
“Then maybe you get together with someone else who doesn’t mind that you go around kissing other people!”  
“Then maybe you should go and find a girlfriend so that you can please all those GREAT friends at your school!” Taekwoon had opened his mouth to shoot back at Hongbin, but the younger boy’s last words made him shut his mouth. Without a word he turned around and started walking down the porch towards his car. Hongbin bit his lip trying to hold back his tears, but just as Taekwoon was about to get into his car, Hongbin yelled: “I WISH YOU HAD NEVER COME BACK TO SEOUL.” He went back inside slamming the door behind him.   
“Honey?” Ms. Lee called from the kitchen. “Are you alright?” Hongbin didn’t answer her as he quickly went up to the stairs to get to his room.   
“Hongbin?” Ms. Lee continued calling as she walked out to the stairs.  
“I’M FINE,” Hongbin yelled and turned around to look at his mother. His cheeks were wet from the tears, that he hadn’t been able to hold back any longer. “JUST LEAVE ME ALONE.”


	7. Chapter 7

Wonshik was in the midst of helping his younger sister, Jiwon, with her homework, when he was abruptly interrupted by the sound of his buzzing phone. He decided to wait to check it until he was done helping Jiwon, but as it buzzed again shortly after he decided to read it. After all it might had been something important. As he opened his phone he saw, that he had received three texts from Taekwoon.

19:01  
Are you home?

19:02  
Could I maybe stay at you place tonight?

19:04  
I don’t know where else to go

Wonshik quickly send a text back telling him, that he was always welcome. He apologized to Jiwon before leaving her room to go and prepare his room for his visitor. It didn’t take long until he heard someone ringing the door. He rushed up the stairs and managed to get to the front door before his sister. He opened it, and as he had expected, Taekwoon was waiting on the other side. It was raining heavily outside and Taekwoon was completely soaked. Combined with his slightly red eyes the older boy looked miserable.   
“Come in, come in!” Wonshik said in a surprised tone. “You must be freezing!” He moved away from the entrance, so that Taekwoon was able to come inside. Water was dripping from his jacket down on the woodened floor, and an almost inaudible: “I’m sorry,” escaped his lips.   
“Taekwoon-oppa!” Jiwon said in a surprised tone, as she passed the boys on her way to the kitchen. She was about to say more, but got cut off by her brother. “Jiwon, could you please get a towel?” Jiwon nodded and quickly rushed to the bathroom.  
“I’ll go get you some dry clothes for you, just wait here,” Wonshik said before he went back down to the basement, leaving Taekwoon alone in the hall. Jiwon was the first one to return with two towels. Taekwoon pulled off his jacket and hung it on the hat stand, before receiving the towels from Jiwon. His fingers felt numb from the cold and his movements were very slow due to this.  
“Let me help you,” Jiwon said with a little smile. She helped him placing the largest towel around his shoulders, the warmth quickly spreading through his entire body. She took the smaller towel from his hands, and gently dried his wet hair with it. Taekwoon’s eyes were fixated on her, as she with a concentrated frown rubbed his hair with the towel. She had grown a lot, since he had seen her for the first time. She was a very pretty girl, and Taekwoon had grown quite fond of her – almost as if she was his little sister. She had always treated him like a brother, and being the youngest of his siblings Taekwoon was happy to have a relationship like this with her.  
“Thank you,” he said with a soft voice, after Jiwon was done with his hair. She smiled widely at him.  
“I got you this,” Wonshik said as he emerged from the stairs. He was carrying the clothes in his arms, and since the boys luckily had the same height and build, he was almost certain that it would fit Taekwoon. He handed his friend the clothes.   
“You can just change in the bathroom,” he said with a gentle voice, to which he received a small nod from Taekwoon. He took off his shoes, and left them standing neatly by the door, before he walked down the hall to get to the bathroom.  
“Oppa?” Jiwon said with a small voice looking up at her brother. “Is he alright?” Wonshik shrugged.   
“I don’t know yet,” he admitted. “Would you mind if he stayed the night here?” Their parents were gone on a business trip, leaving Jiwon and Wonshik alone in the house. Jiwon shook her head.  
“Of course not!” Jiwon quickly assured him. Wonshik smiled at her, putting his arm around her neck to pull her into a hug. “You’re the best.”

*

“So… you’re not together anymore?” Wonshik asked with a tiny voice. Taekwoon’s glance was locked at the floor and he shook his head lightly at Wonshik’s question. He had just told Wonshik where he had been, and about the fight he had had with Hongbin. Conveniently he had omitted to tell about what had happened between Hakyeon and Hongbin.   
“It feels so… weird,” Wonshik mumbled. “I never imagined this was possible honestly.” Taekwoon bit his lip and lowered his head. He didn’t want to cry anymore. He had walked the entire way from Hongbin’s house to Wonshik’s house with the tears running down his cheeks nonstop. He was tired of crying.   
“Neither did I,” Taekwoon muttered wiping his cheeks with the sleeves of Wonshik’s hoodie. He had borrowed a pair of jeans and a pink hoodie from the younger boy, and he didn’t quite feel like himself in the colorful outfit. But he was grateful, that Wonshik had lent it to him and even more grateful that he had let him spend the night there. He was definitely going to miss his classes the following day, but at this point his classes seemed like the least important thing in the world. He could always just say that he had gotten sick. It felt that way.  
“Oh, I forgot all about your jacket!” Wonshik suddenly exclaimed and jumped up from his seat on the sofa. “I’ll just go hang it in the bathroom, I’ll be right back!” He then walked back upstairs, to make sure the jacket didn’t drip on the hall in the floor more than necessary.   
Taekwoon slowly got up from the sofa, after Wonshik had left the room. His hands were still cold from his walk, so he put his hands in the pocket of the hoodie, as he walked over to Wonshik’s desk. Like usual, multiple pieces of paper with Wonshik’s writing all over them were sprawled across the table. Wonshik was kind of messy when it came to his composing and songwriting, but still he managed to always end up with an amazing ending result. ‘Who Are U’, ‘Rebirth’ and ‘Where Should I Go’ were all titles that caught his eye, and he had to contain himself, to not read the lyrics Wonshik had written. He knew Wonshik was very sensitive about his work, so he didn’t want to invade his privacy more than necessary.   
As his glance wandered from the desk to the wall, he noticed something, that he didn’t recall having seen in Wonshik’s room before. Wonshik had decorated the wall above his desk with pictures. Pictures of his friend. There were a few people that Taekwoon didn’t recognize, but most of the pictures were of himself, Hongbin, Sanghyuk, Hakyeon and Jaehwan together with Wonshik. Taekwoon immediately spotted a picture of Hakyeon and Wonshik. Wonshik’s face was cracked in a grin, and knowing how ticklish Wonshik was by his neck, Taekwoon assumed this was caused by Hakyeon, who had his nose pressed against Wonshik’s neck with his lips parted in a big smile. They looked so happy and it made Taekwoon’s stomach hurt and made the tears tickle in the corner of his eyes. Wonshik didn’t know it. He didn’t want Wonshik to know it.   
Beneath the picture of Hakyeon and Wonshik, there was a picture from when the six of them had been competing in the talent show. It was right after they had gotten down from the stage, and Wonshik was standing in the center of the photograph with the trophy in his hands and his eyes glassy from the tears he was fighting to hold back. Looking at the picture, Taekwoon could almost feel how weak his knees had felt, how sore his throat had been and above all the happiness he had felt that day. He was standing between Hakyeon and Hongbin – pulling Hongbin closer to him by the waist. God, it had been so long since he had last felt the warmth of the younger being so close to him. As it looked now, her doubted that he would ever be so close to him again.   
“Taekwoon?” Wonshik called after closing the door behind him. Taekwoon turned away from the desk and it felt like everything around him froze, when he saw what Wonshik was holding in his hands.  
“I-I found this in the inside pocket of your jacket… it somehow escaped the rain,” Wonshik muttered staring at the picture in his hands. “I thought it was something important... I-I didn’t want to snoop around in your stuff.”  
“Wonshik…” Taekwoon said with a soft voice walking closer to Wonshik. “You weren’t supposed to see that.” He noticed that Wonshik’s hands were shaking lightly.  
“But… it’s a joke right,” Wonshik said with a shaky voice looking up from the picture. “I mean… it can’t be real… right?” Taekwoon remained silent. He didn’t want to be the one to tell Wonshik about this. Hakyeon should be the one to explain it to him – Wonshik deserved that. But at the same time, he didn’t want to lie to Wonshik.  
“I’m sorry,” was the only thing he could say. Wonshik nodded and lowered his gaze. He bit the inside of his cheek until he could taste the blood, in an attempt to hold back his tears.  
“You know,” he muttered with a rather tearful voice. “I just thought I meant more to him than that.” Halfway through his sentence his voice suddenly cracked and a loud sob escaped his lips. He covered his mouth with his hand, trying to stifle his sobbing. Taekwoon’s vision started to go blurry, as the sight of one of his best friends crumbling in front of him brought tears to his eyes. He had never seen Wonshik cry like this before. He reached out for him and pulled him into a tight hug.   
“I’m sorry,” Taekwoon muttered with an almost inaudible voice, as the pink hoodie became wet from Wonshik’s tears. “I’m so so sorry.”


	8. Chapter 8

“Hyung, what are you up to?”  
“… nothing.”  
“Are you playing that game again?!”  
“N-no…” Sanghyuk leaned over the table and quickly snatched the phone out of Jaehwan’s hands.  
“YOU ARE!” the younger exclaimed turning the screen towards Jaehwan and Hongbin showing the conversation of messages that was going on. “Hyung, Mystic Messenger is a game for girls!”   
“Shut up!” Jaehwan whined. “You don’t understand what me and Yoosung has got!” He tried to get his phone back, but Sanghyuk turned it around, taking a closer look at the screen.  
“Is that… is that a picture of you with a wig as your profile picture?!” Jaehwan almost jumped over the table trying to get his phone back, as Sanghyuk threatened to answer a text from one of the characters.   
Despite the mess of yelling that was going on in front of him at the lunch table, Hongbin didn’t seem to notice any of it. His gaze was locked at Wonshik, who was sitting by himself a few tables away. Jaehwan had been over there earlier asking him, if he wanted to sit with them – but Wonshik had declined his offer. He hadn’t given any reason to why he wanted to sit by himself, so at first the other boys had assumed, that he was meeting up with one of his other friends. But now the break was almost over, and Wonshik was still sitting by himself. His eyes were fixed on a spot on the table and his tray of food was untouched. Hongbin had a bad feeling, that Wonshik knew something about what had happened at the party with Hakyeon. But Hakyeon had said he wouldn’t tell him… and Taekwoon couldn’t possibly had sunken so low as to tell Wonshik about it.   
“Hongbin?” Hongbin suddenly noticed his name being called and snapped out of his stream of thoughts. Both Jaehwan and Sanghyuk was looking at him, waiting for him to answer.   
“I’m sorry,” Hongbin muttered to his friends. “What did you say?”  
“How was the party?” Jaehwan repeated his question.  
“It was fine I guess,” Hongbin answered in response, not wanting to get into too much detail. “You didn’t really miss out on anything.” His eyes once again found Wonshik by the other table, who was getting his food tray to leave the cafeteria. Not satisfied with the answer, Jaehwan opened his mouth to ask more questions, but he was immediately cut off when Hongbin got up from his seat.  
“Sorry,” he said in an apologetic tone. “But I have to catch Wonshik before our next class.” He quickly grabbed his tray and rushed after Wonshik. It wasn’t until they were halfway down the hallway, that Hongbin finally caught up to his friend.  
“Wonshik, wait up!” he said as he was finally able to put his hand on Wonshik’s shoulder. Wonshik turned his head, and his emotionless face almost sent shivers down Hongbin’s spine.  
“I have to go to class,” Wonshik muttered trying to get out of Hongbin’s grip. This only made Hongbin’s grip tighter.   
“Can I please talk with you?” Hongbin asked with a pleading voice. “It will only take a second, I promise.” Wonshik lowered his head, not able to look at Hongbin.  
“I-I really need to get going,” he stammered with a thin voice.  
“Wonshik, please,” Hongbin continued begging. “I really need to talk with you.” Wonshik went silent for a few seconds before finally answering: “It better be really quick then.” Hongbin almost sighed in relief, as he grabbed Wonshik by the wrist and dragged him into the boys’ bathroom.  
“Are you avoiding us?” Hongbin asked straight forward after closing the bathroom door after himself. Wonshik’s eyes were locked on a spot on the floor. He was silent for an uncomfortably long time, before he finally answered him: “No.”  
“No?” Hongbin repeated in a questioning tone.  
“I’m not avoiding the others,” Wonshik said with a slightly shaky voice. “I’m just avoiding you.”   
“What?” Hongbin said in a surprised tone. “Why would you- “  
“I know about you and Hakyeon,” Wonshik abruptly cut off Hongbin, finally looking up from the floor. “God, I actually believed you would for once be honest and just admit it to me.” Hongbin opened his mouth to apologize, but Wonshik lifted his hand.  
“Don’t,” he muttered. “I just… I just need some time alone.” His voice was low, almost inaudible, and his eyes were once again fixed on the floor. He started to move towards the door, but Hongbin grabbed him by the arm to stop him.  
“Wonshik!” Hongbin said in a slightly high pitched voice. “Please let me explain.”   
“Just leave me alone,” Wonshik mumbled as he pulled out of Hongbin’s grip, and continues walking, leaving Hongbin alone in the bathroom.

***

“Where have you been?” Hakyeon called in a worried tone, when he spotted Taekwoon walking down the hall. He had been looking for Taekwoon all day wanting to clear the air between them. He still hoped, that it was possible to save their friendship, if he could just explain to Taekwoon, what had happened at the party. But Taekwoon hadn’t attended any of the classes they shared that day and neither had he been able to spot him at lunch. Fearing, that Taekwoon had gone to visit Wonshik, Hakyeon had texted his boyfriend. It had been hours since his last text, and he still hadn’t received an answer.   
“Where did you go?” Hakyeon asked again, when he didn’t get an answer. Taekwoon remained silent as he continued walking towards the exit.  
“Hey! Wait up!” Hakyeon called running after Taekwoon out of the door. Taekwoon walked with a fast pace towards the soccer field behind the school, with Hakyeon running behind him.   
“Wait!” Hakyeon said when he finally caught up to Taekwoon grabbing him by the arm. Taekwoon immediately pulled out of his grip, walking faster to get away from him. But Hakyeon was quick on his feet, and it didn’t take long until he caught up to Taekwoon again.  
“Just let me explain!” Hakyeon said and once again grabbed Taekwoon by the arm. In the blink of an eye Taekwoon turned around and pushed Hakyeon away with all the power he possessed. Tripping over his own feet Hakyeon fell to the ground, and got all air punched out of him.  
“Stop following me” Taekwoon hissed through his clenched teeth.   
“Taekwoon, please just-“ Hakyeon said with a thin voice, but was cut off by Taekwoon.  
“Stop talking to me! I’m sick and tired of your voice,” he yelled. “JUST SHUT UP.”  
“Taekwoon, what’s going on?” a boy asked as him and a group of other guys approached Taekwoon and Hakyeon. It was a couple of Taekwoon’s friends, who had been playing soccer until they heard Taekwoon yelling.   
“Nothing, nothing,” Taekwoon muttered with his fists clenched. The boys turned to Hakyeon, who was slowly trying to get up from the ground.   
“Is this fag bothering you?” one of the boys asked. Taekwoon remained silent with his eyes coldly fixed at Hakyeon, before turning his back to him, slowly walking away from the group. His friends looked at each other for a moment, before closing in on Hakyeon, who had finally gotten up from the ground.  
“Hey faggot!” one of the boys spat, pushing Hakyeon in the chest, making Hakyeon take a step back.   
“Hey, what are you doing?” Hakyeon said in an angry tone, which only resulted in one of the other boys pushing him.   
“You better stay the fuck away from Taekwoon,” another boy hissed. “We won’t let a sick freak like you mess with one of ours.” Hakyeon opened his mouth to tell the boys, that this was definitely none of their business, but as they kept on pushing him and even lightly punching his arms and back, he wasn’t able to say anything. Taekwoon had turned his head, looking at the boys who were surrounding Hakyeon. Their eyes met each other. His eyes were pleading Taekwoon to make the boys stop. But Taekwoon just turned around, and left the boys to do whatever they wanted with his “friend”.


	9. Chapter 9

It had been weeks and not once had Hakyeon cried. Not as far as Taekwoon knew. He had been yelled at, mocked, pushed, punched, his stuff had been stolen and destroyed and yet he still held his head high. He hadn’t shed a single tear, not even when Wonshik had called him and said, that he needed a break. Taekwoon didn’t take part in the other students’ actions and made sure to stay out of trouble as he kept on doing his school work as he would normally do. Taekwoon knew, that Hakyeon always sat alone at lunch and that he rarely touched the food on his plate, but still Taekwoon chose to sit with his friends. Friends, that he knew very well, was joining in on mocking Hakyeon. 

***

“I have divided you into groups of two and three people,” the teacher said as she turned to the whiteboard to write the groups. “I tried to match you with other students, who are at the same level as you academically.” Hongbin stretched his neck trying to spot his name on the whiteboard, and it felt as if a heavy rock landed on the bottom of his stomach, when he saw, that he had been paired up with Wonshik. The two of them hadn’t spoken to each other, since after the party. Hongbin missed his best friend dearly, but he hadn’t had the courage to talk with him. He was too ashamed.   
“You’ll have to decide on the topic of your presentation before or next class,” the teacher said as the closing words right in time for the bell ringing, ending the class. Hongbin was quick to collect his stuff, and rushed over to Wonshik, before he could leave the class.  
“Wonshik,” Hongbin said with a light voice as he approached the other boy. “I-I was wondering if you had time to work on the project after school?” His heart was beating rapidly as he awaited Wonshik’s response. Wonshik was in the midst of packing his stuff, but after a short while he nodded.   
“Sure,” he muttered.

The road to Wonshik’s house was long. Hongbin didn’t recall it being this long, but then again, there would normally be talking and laughing between the boys, when they walked together. Today it was different. Wonshik, who would normally ramble about all his upcoming music projects – both those he was doing on his own, but also the ones he was doing with some of his other friends. But today he walked in silence. His eyes fixed on his feet.   
Suddenly, Hongbin stopped. Wonshik walked a few steps forward before realizing that Hongbin had stopped. He turned around.  
“Something wrong?” Wonshik asked with a low voice. Hongbin shook his head.  
“I’m just… I’m sorry,” Hongbin said his voice shaking slightly. He looked up at Wonshik.   
“I know that you’re angry at me, and I understand why you can’t forgive me… I don’t expect you to do so,” Hongbin spoke with a rather tearful voice, when suddenly his voice cracked. “But I miss you so much.” His fists were clenched and he looked down at the ground, trying to keep himself from crying. He didn’t want to look even more pathetic in front of Wonshik. He opened his mouth to say more but stopped when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He looked up, directly into Wonshik’s eyes.   
“I’m not angry,” Wonshik sighed. Hongbin frowned at him.  
“Of course you are!” Hongbin said in a surprisingly high-pitched voice. “You should be! I would hate me.” Wonshik snorted lightly and shook his head.   
“I’ve been thinking-“ he said, but was cut off when Hongbin continued rambling. “I did something unforgivable and no matter how much I regret it, I can’t undo it!” A single tear escaped Hongbin’s eye, and before he could say more, Wonshik grabbed him by the wrist and pulled him into a hug.  
“I’m sorry for not talking to you,” Wonshik apologized after finally shutting Hongbin up. “I just… I just needed time to think things through… I’m sorry.” Hongbin returned Wonshik’s hug pulling him in tightly. The tears had started rolling uncontrollably down his cheeks.   
“I forgive you,” Wonshik said with a soft voice.  
“I’m so sorry,” Hongbin sobbed. Wonshik smiled sadly.   
“It’s okay,” he said while lightly patting Hongbin’s back. “I know you didn’t mean anything by it.” They let go of each other, and Hongbin hastily wiped his wet cheeks with his sleeve.   
“Come on,” Wonshiks said smiling slightly at Hongbin. “We should head home before it starts raining.”

***

“Taekwoon,” Taekwoon’s roommate, Joongi, called, pulling the headphone out of Taekwoon’s ear. He looked up at the other boy with a startled expression.   
“What?” he asked. He had been in the middle of his homework for the following day, and had been far away in his own thoughts.   
“Could you take out the trash?” Joongi asked. “I have to go and help Namjoon with his homework in a couple of minutes, so I don’t have the time.” Joongi always had an excuse to not take out the trash, and even though it annoyed Taekwoon, he didn’t want to start a fight about it. So he just nodded and got up from his seat, to take out the trash.   
Taekwoon felt a drip of water on his face as soon as he stepped out of the door. He sighed heavily as he pulled up the hood on his hoodie, to cover his head from the rain. The dumpsters were located on the other side of the dorms, so Taekwoon had plenty of time to get soaked, as the rain drops started falling more rapidly. He started walking faster, until he was almost running trying to get to the dumpsters as quickly as possible.   
Laughter was the first sound that met Taekwoon, when he finally reached the dumpsters. He frowned as he recognized the voices of his friends. He spotted them the almost hidden by one of the big blue dumpsters.  
“Ew, it’s so gross,” one of the boys laughed. They were standing in a circle, taking turns at kicking something that was lying in the middle. Taekwoon was standing too far away, to see what it was, so he assumed it was some garbage they had found. After all it didn’t take much to entertain his friend.  
“Hey…” he said hesitantly and dropped the trash from his room on the ground, as he walked closer to the group of boys. One of the boys turned around and smiled at Taekwoon. Taekwoon felt as if everything inside of him froze when he spotted something red and gooey on the boy’s shoe.  
“Hey Taekwoon!” the boy said with a big grin. “You wanna join?” He took a step to the side, so Taekwoon was finally able to see, what they were kicking. He felt completely numb, when his eyes met Hakyeon on the ground.


	10. Chapter 10

“Stop it!” Taekwoon said in a shocked tone as stepped in between the boys, who were surrounding Hakyeon. He pushed them aside, which finally made them stop kicking Hakyeon. The others frowned at him.  
“What’s the matter with you?” one of the boys asked with a snicker. “He’s just gay scum.” The other guys laughed along with him, and was about to continue beating up Hakyeon, when Taekwoon grabbed the one who had been talking by his shirt, and pushed him backwards.   
“I told you to stop,” Taekwoon said with an ice cold voice, his eyes locked on the boy. The boy snorted.   
“You’re suddenly on his side?” he spat in a patronizing tone. He shook his head with a light laugh. “God Taekwoon… I didn’t know you were such a pussy.” He looked at the other boys, signalizing to them, that they should get going.  
“Come on boys,” the boy said. “Better leave Taekwoon alone with his bitch.” The others laughed, and as they left, Taekwoon was finally able to see Hakyeon clearly. Hakyeon’s breathing was short and rough and he looked up at Taekwoon with dilated pupils. His lips had a slight blueish color as he fought to breathe. Taekwoon felt sick when he noticed the unnatural bump by Hakyeon’s collarbone through his T-shirt and the blood that was coming from the back of his head.   
“H-Hakyeon,” he stammered as he kneeled down beside the older boy. Hakyeon’s breathing seemed to become even faster, as Taekwoon got closer to him. Taekwoon felt the tears tickling the corner of his eyes, and he bit the inside of his cheek to prevent himself from crying. He had to stay calm in order to help Hakyeon. He noticed that Hakyeon was shaking and pulled off his hoodie, to cover Hakyeon with it. It was already soaked by the rain, but he didn’t have anything better to warm up Hakyeon with. Hakyeon groaned lightly because of the pressure from the heavy hoodie on his chest, and Taekwoon quickly apologized with a shaky voice: “I’m sorry… please hang in there.” With trembling hands, he managed to pull the phone out of his pocket. The rain made it almost impossible to use the phone, but after a short while Taekwoon was finally able to dial 911. Hakyeon whimpered lightly beside Taekwoon, when suddenly he went awfully quite. Taekwoon looked down to see, that he had lost consciousness and as the phone was calling, he turned his head, and called out as loud as he could: “SOMEONE HELP ME, PLEASE.”

***

Hongbin and Wonshik had gotten distracted from their homework rather quickly. Not having seen each other for weeks they had a lot of catching up to do. They were in the midst of playing a game, when suddenly they were interrupted by Wonshik’s ringing phone.   
“I should probably get that,” Wonshik mumbled as he got up from the sofa with a light groan. The phone turned silent right before he grabbed it, and as he picked it up from the table, he was surprised to see who had been calling.  
“It’s Taekwoon,” he said looking over at Hongbin with a small frown. “Why would he call?” Hongbin got up from the sofa as well to see it for himself, but when Taekwoon immediately called again, Wonshik quickly answered the call.   
“It’s Wonshik,” he said. He had a strange feeling that something was wrong, when he heard Taekwoon’s shaky breathing in the other end.   
“Taekwoon are you okay?” he asked in a concerned voice, when he didn’t receive an answer.  
“Are you alone?” Taekwoon finally said. Wonshik frowned.  
“No... Hongbin is here as well,” he answered in an uncertain voice. “Why?”   
“Please don’t be scared,” Taekwoon said. “But something happened.”  
“What happened?” Wonshik asked his heart beginning to beat faster. Taekwoon went silent and after several moments Wonshik was about to repeat his question when Taekwoon finally spoke again.   
“Hakyeon was in an accident,” Taekwoon said, his voice surprisingly calm as he didn’t want Wonshik to panic. “I think you should come.” Wonshik felt as if all air was punched out of him, and his mouth felt completely dry when he asked: “How bad is it?” He had to bite the inside of his cheek to keep himself from crying.   
“I don’t know yet,” Taekwoon answered. “He’s in surgery right now.” Wonshik nodded and rushed over to his desk, to find the keys for his car. Hongbin, who could only hear Taekwoon’s voice as a distant mutter, looked at his friend with a concerned frown.  
“I’m on my way,” Wonshik said, his voice sounding quite tearful.  
“Wonshik,” Taekwoon said in a gentle voice, making Wonshik stop in his tracks. “Please take Hongbin with you… you shouldn’t be alone right now.” Wonshik nodded and after telling Taekwoon goodbye he hung up.   
“What’s wrong?” Hongbin asked in a concerned voice. “What happened?”  
“H-Hakyeon…” Wonshik muttered with his gaze locked at the floor. “He’s in the hospital.” The tears started rolling down his cheeks, as he was no longer capable of holding it back when he said. “I didn’t even get to apologize for sorry for letting him down.” He suddenly looked up at Hongbin.  
“You don’t think….” he said with a low voice. “You don’t think he harmed himself?” Hongbin shook his head, grabbing Wonshik by the wrist.  
“Of course not,” he said with a firm voice. “Hakyeon would never do such a thing.” He took the car keys out of Wonshik’s shaking hands.  
“I’ll drive,” Hongbin said with a soft voice, to cover up his own fear. “We need to be there for him.” 

***

Taekwoon was sitting in the waiting room with his eyes fixed on the ceiling. His phone kept buzzing in his pocket, but he didn’t want to pick it up. He knew what the messages said. The rumor of what had happened to Hakyeon had quickly spread across the school, in the few hours that had passed since he had left the school in an ambulance. Another ambulance had been send to take care of Taekwoon, who had been quite shocked after finding Hakyeon. But after giving him a blanket and assuring, that he had no further injuries, the ambulance drove Taekwoon to the hospital, so that he could be there for Hakyeon.   
It had been a little more than an hour since Hakyeon’s surgery had ended, but the nurse had told him, that he couldn’t visit Hakyeon yet. His clothes had almost dried, and he had kept the blanket to keep him warm.  
Taekwoon felt empty. It was his fault. He could have saved Hakyeon. If he hadn’t been so blinded by his pointless anger, he would have stood up for Hakyeon and none of this would had happened. Every minute he had to wait, not knowing if Hakyeon had woken up or if there had been any complications, felt like days, and he felt like he was suffocating in the light sterile room.   
“Taekwoon!” Wonshik called when he spotted Taekwoon. Taekwoon finally looked down from the ceiling, and quickly got up as Wonshik and Hongbin approached him.   
“Where is he?” Wonshik asked, sounding like he was on the brink of tears. Taekwoon lightly shrugged.  
“We’re not allowed to see him yet,” he said with a low voice. “But the doctor says he’s gonna be fine.”   
“How… how bad is it?” Wonshik asked with hesitant voice, as if he feared Taekwoon’s answer.   
“He broke a few bones, punctured a lung and got a small concussion… but other than that he only got a couple of bruises,” Taekwoon said, but when Wonshik’s eyes started to go glassy, he quickly added: “But the doctor says it sounds worse than it is… they stitched him up, so he’s gonna be fine.”   
“What happened?” Hongbin asked with a gentle voice. He hadn’t seen Taekwoon for weeks and seeing him now standing in the middle of the hospital room with a thin blanket around his shoulders and his face pale, felt unreal. At his words Taekwoon looked down on the ground. His lips were quivering lightly and he tried his hardest to explain what had happened, but nothing came out.   
“It’s my fault,” he finally said, as the tears started rolling down his cheeks. “I let him down and now he’s- “. Taekwoon wasn’t able to finish his sentence and his words were soon replaced by loud heartbreaking sobs. He covered half of his face with his hand in an attempt to lower the sound of his crying.   
“I’m sorry,” he managed to say through his sobbing. He looked down on the ground trying his hardest to get a hold of himself. But after hours of anxiety and feeling guilt, he couldn’t hold it back any longer. Suddenly he felt warmth spread across his body, when Hongbin laid his arms around him.   
“It’s okay,” Hongbin whispered with a soft voice into Taekwoon’s ear. “It’s going to be alright.” It was as if everything that had been going on between them the last many weeks had been flushed away, and Taekwoon pulled closer to Hongbin. He buried his face in the crook of Hongbin’s neck and while Hongbin gently stroked his back, he let everything out. Almost inaudible he kept muttering the same words.  
I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.


	11. Chapter 11

“Jung Taekwoon?” the nurse called. Taekwoon, Wonshik and Hongbin all got up from their seats, and quickly rushed over to the her. For a moment, she looked a bit surprised by the amount of people that had suddenly joined Taekwoon, but she quickly regained her composure.  
“You are all here for Cha Hakyeon?” she asked, receiving a confirming nod from all of them. Even Taekwoon, who had been there for hours.  
“He’s starting to wake up, so you can go and see him now,” the nurse continued with a warm but yet unmistakably firm voice. “But he’s a bit drowsy after the surgery and he needs a lot of rest.” Wonshik nodded and said: “We’ll be careful!” The nurse couldn’t help but smile at his words, as she led them down the hallway to the room Hakyeon was in. As soon as they reached the door she bowed lightly before leaving them.   
“Should we just go in?” Hongbin asked with a low voice. He was starting to feel nervous as he wasn’t sure what was going to meet them on the other side. In his mind, he imagined Hakyeon clogged up to numerous machines with his face unrecognizable by bruises. The thought of it made him feel sick.   
Lightly, Wonshik knocked on the door and after waiting for a few moments, he opened the door. He was the first to enter the room but Taekwoon was a little hesitant. Hongbin reached out and took his hand, and together they followed Wonshik into the room.   
Hongbin was surprised, by how silent the room was. The only thing that broke the silence, was the light sound of the heart monitor, which was connected to Hakyeon. He looked very small in the big hospital bed. A mask was covering his mouth – providing him with plenty of oxygen, to help his injured lung. His arm had been put in an arm sling to keep his broken collarbone in place. But his face was not as bruised as Hongbin had feared and he was only slightly blueish bye his right eye. His eyes were closed, but his furrowed brows revealed that he wasn’t asleep.   
“Hakyeon…” Wonshik said with a soft voice and stepped closer to Hakyeon. It wasn’t until he rested his hand on the bed that it was visible, how much he was shaking. Hakyeon’s eyes started moving under his lids when his name was called, and slowly he managed to open his eyes.  
“Won…shik…” he said with a rusty voice. “W-…where am…I?” His voice got muffled by the mask and he was afraid they wouldn’t understand what he was saying. He tried to lift his arm to remove it, but his limps felt heavier than stone resulting in his movements being very slow.   
“Don’t remove it,” Wonshik said. “You need it.” Hakyeon nodded sluggishly letting his hand fall back down on the bed.   
“You’re in the hospital,” Wonshik explained with a soft voice, gently pushing Hakyeon’s hair away from his eyes. “But you’re going to be alright.” The tears had started running down Wonshik’s cheeks at the sight of the state Hakyeon was in, and the they were dripping down on Hakyeon’s hand.   
“You’re… dripping…” Hakyeon mumbled looking up at Wonshik. Wonshik shook his head, and quickly said: “I’m sorry,” while wiping his cheeks with his sleeves. “How are you feeling?” He placed his hand on Hakyeon’s hand, lightly caressing it.  
“Tired…” Hakyeon answered. “… nauseous…” Wonshik turned his head to Hongbin and Taekwoon.   
“Maybe we should go outside?” he asked, but quickly looked back at Hakyeon when he felt Hakyeon’s grip around his hand tighten slightly.  
“Please… stay” he said beginning to sound more incoherent as he started to slip back into sleep. He was clearly having a hard time keeping his eyes open. Wonshik nodded and said. “Of course... please just get some sleep.”  
“I think we should step out for a moment,” Taekwoon whispered to Hongbin, to which Hongbin nodded in agreement. Still holding each other’s hands, they silently left the room, leaving Wonshik alone with his boyfriend.   
“Are you okay?” Taekwoon asked gently to which Hongbin nodded and asked back in return: “What about you? How are you holding up?” Taekwoon sighed lightly with a shrug.   
“I… I don’t know,” he mumbled. “I think I’ll go and get some coffee.” A doctor came from the other end of the hallway and right before he passed them, Hongbin discreetly let go of Taekwoon’s hand.   
“Oh, sorry,” he apologized. “I didn’t even realize- “ He didn’t get to finish his sentence, before Taekwoon grabbed his hand again. Hongbin looked up at him with a confused frown.  
“Why would you- “  
“I’m tired of trying to hide who I am,” Taekwoon said with a lowered voice. “Trying to be someone that I’m not and pushing everyone away is what led to all of this.” He shook his head. “I just wish I could turn everything back to the way they were before… before I ruined everything.” He lowered his head before continuing in a dark tone: “I feel like… I’ve lost all the people I care about the most.” Before he was able to say anything more, Hongbin laid his arms around him, pulling him into a warm hug.   
“You haven’t,” Hongbin muttered, pressing his face against Taekwoon’s chest. “I’m still here.” Returning the hug, Taekwoon rested his head on top of Hongbin’s head. The fact that he was this close to Hongbin seemed unreal to him, and he loved to once again feel the warmth of Hongbin’s breath getting through his shirt and to smell the faint scent of shampoo coming from Hongbin’s hair.  
“But… Can you forgive me?” Taekwoon asked, his voice shaking lightly. “Even after all of this.” Hongbin lifted his head to look up at Taekwoon to give him a small nod.  
“Of course!” Hongbin said. “After all, I was the one who started al of this... I’m the one to blame for this mess.” Taekwoon smiled lightly at Hongbin, before speaking with a soft voice: “Maybe we should stop blaming each other and… start over?” Hongbin smiled brightly at Taekwoon, both of his dimples showing.  
“I like that idea,” he said with a light sigh of relief.


	12. Chapter 12

Taekwoon wasn’t sure how much time had passed – but it had at least been a couple of hours. It had been quite some time since Hongbin and him had gotten coffee and hot chocolate cafeteria, and they were now sitting in the waiting area. Hongbin had fallen asleep not long ago with his head resting on Taekwoon’s shoulder. Taekwoon was holding his hand, lightly stroking it with his thumb as he listened to the soothing sound of Hongbin’s breathing.   
“Taekwoon,” his name was suddenly called, and he looked up to see Wonshik approaching them. “Hakyeon wants to talk with you.” Taekwoon frowned at Wonshik’s words.   
“I thought he was asleep?” he said in a questioning tone.  
“He was,” Wonshik said as he sat down next to Taekwoon. “But he woke up a little while ago and asked me to get you.” He sighed lightly and added. “He refuses to sleep any more before seeing you – I’m scared the nurse will kick us out, if he doesn’t get some rest soon.”   
“I should probably go and talk with him then,” Taekwoon muttered with a little nod, feeling slightly bad that he was causing Hakyeon not to get the rest he needed. He lightly patted Hongbin’s leg to wake him up. Hongbin growled slightly but moved his head, so that it rested against the wall instead. Taekwoon got up from his seat.  
“What about you?” Taekwoon asked with a concerned voice, facing Wonshik. “Are you alright?” Wonshik nodded and sent Taekwoon a halfhearted smile.   
“Yeah… I’m okay,” he said with a small sigh. “It’s just… weird seeing him like this.”   
“I know…” Taekwoon muttered. “But he’s gonna be fine – He’s a fighter.” He gave Wonshik a light pat on the shoulder before he walked to the room Hakyeon was in. He hated walking alone in the hallway. He felt like the white walls were closing in on him, suffocating him in the sterile smell of the hospital. It reminded him of the time he had been in the hospital. While he still lived in Busan. The time when a glass of pills had seemed like a salvation from the dark hole he had been in seemed so far away now. Thanks to Hongbin, Hakyeon, Wonshik, Jaehwan and Sanghyuk, he had finally been able to escape it and the thought of almost losing one of the people who had saved him was unbearable.   
Taekwoon finally reached the room, and knocked lightly on the door, before entering. Unlike the last time he had been in the room, this time Hakyeon was awake and his eyes followed Taekwoon as he walked up to the bed. A chair had been placed next to the bed, and Taekwoon sat down in it to be at eye level with Hakyeon.   
“How are you feeling?” Taekwoon asked with a low voice. Up close Taekwoon could see, that Hakyeon was quite pale.  
“I… I’m fine,” Hakyeon mumbled, fighting to keep his eyes open. It was clear, that his body wasn’t quite satisfied with his choice to stay awake, and he looked very uncomfortable.   
“Are you in pain?” Taekwoon asked and was already about to get up from the chair again. “Maybe I should get a nurse.” But he remained in his seat, when Hakyeon shook his head.  
“I’m… fine,” Hakyeon repeated and weakly lifted his arm to point to a device next to the bed that seemed to be connected to him. “I can handle… the medicine… myself.” He talked quite slowly making sure that he inhaled plenty of air combined with his body being in serious need of sleep. “I wanted… to see you.” Taekwoon nodded and his gaze sought to the floor, as he mumbled: “I don’t deserve to be seen by you.” Hakyeon frowned lightly, and whether this was due to his discomfort or confusion due to Taekwoon’s word was unknown.  
“You… saved me,” he mumbled softly. “Without you… I could have been- “  
“But it was my fault you even ended up in that situation! I should have stopped them long ago” Taekwoon cut off Hakyeon, before he could finish his sentence. Hakyeon could have died, Taekwoon knew that. Just the thought of hearing Hakyeon say it out loud made him feel sick. Taekwoon bit the inside of his cheek to prevent himself to crying again. He hated himself for being such a coward. At the time, he had feared that what was happening to Hakyeon would happen to him as well. Now he wished, that he could switch places with Hakyeon. He should have been the one who got beaten up.   
“You made… a mistake,” Hakyeon said. “But… I made a mistake as well.” Even though his voice got muffled by the oxygen mask, Taekwoon sensed that his voice was getting shakier. Yet he still he carried on talking. “I want to forgive you… and… I want you to forgive me too.” Taekwoon finally looked up from the floor and saw, the clear drops that were running down Hakyeon’s cheeks.  
“I do,” he said with a voice as thin as paper, revealing the he was on the brink of tears as well. “Of course I do! After all we’re best friends… right?” For a split second Taekwoon was afraid, that Hakyeon would say no – after everything he had been through. But the relief rushed through him, when Hakyeon nodded. A sob escaped his lips, and Taekwoon grabbed his hand squeezing it lightly to comfort him. More than anything he wanted to hug Hakyeon, and feel him being close to him again, but afraid to possibly hurt Hakyeon he didn’t do so.  
“Everything is going to be okay” Taekwoon said while gently caressing Hakyeon’s hand. He quickly wiped the tear, that had managed to escape his eye, with the back of his hand. “You just need to rest.” Hakyeon breathed in deeply to stop himself from crying, and to regain control over his breathing.   
“I should probably get Wonshik,” Taekwoon said. “Maybe it’ll feel more comfortable for you to sleep with him here.” He was about to get up from the chair but had to stay, when Hakyeon kept ahold of his hand.  
“Can you… please stay until I fall asleep?” Hakyeon asked in a pleading tone. “I don’t want to… bother him any more.” Taekwoon nodded and stayed in his seat.  
“Of course,” he said and gave Hakyeon’s hand a light squeeze. “Please get some sleep.”


	13. Chapter 13

“I’ll get your bag,” Taekwoon said with a soft voice, as he went to the back of the car. Hakyeon was still sitting in the passenger seat, struggling to get out. His arm was still in a sling and opening door with only one hand was far more difficult than it seemed. Apart from his arm, it wasn’t visible, what had happened to him a couple of days ago. He was still a bit black around the eye, but this was mostly hid behind his fringe.   
After getting the bag from the boot, Taekwoon proceeded to walk to the front of the car and opened the door for Hakyeon.   
“I almost had it…” Hakyeon mumbled as he got out of the car.  
“The doctor said, you shouldn’t strain yourself,” Taekwoon said. Hakyeon pushed the door closed with his bum, and smiled at Taekwoon.  
“Don’t worry about me, I’m fine!” he said. “Otherwise they wouldn’t have discharged me.” He nodded in the direction of his bag and added: “But I’m grateful that you’ll carry my bag.” Together they walked towards the dormitory – Hakyeon walking a few steps in front of Taekwoon. Right before reaching the entrance, a small group of boys walked out of the building, making Hakyeon suddenly stop walking. He lowered his head as the boys walked past him, pulling his injured arm even closer to his body. Taekwoon caught up to him, placing a hand on his shoulder.  
“Are you okay?” he asked in a slightly worried tone. Hakyeon looked up at Taekwoon quickly putting on a smile as he answered: “Of course… let’s get inside.”   
Taekwoon’s room was awfully quiet. Usually Joongi would be sitting by his desk either playing videogames (with the sound on – which sometimes drove Taekwoon insane) or tapping his fingers on the table (which as well drove Taekwoon insane), trying to get some of his school work done. But today, he wasn’t here.  
“I-I thought that you might want to sleep in here… just until you get better…” Taekwoon said with a low voice, scratching his neck. “I mean… if you want to.”   
“Did you talk with Joongi about this?” Hakyeon asked as he took a glance around the room. Judging by the faint floral smell and everything being neatly put in the right places, the room had clearly been cleaned recently. Hakyeon could imagine that it was highly likely, that Taekwoon had put blood, sweat and tears into preparing the room for his return. The cleanliness reminded him of the hospital.  
“Yeah, Bogum suggested that Joongi could sleep in his room for a couple of days,” Taekwoon said. Hakyeon looked at him, giving him a little smile.   
“Thank you,” he said with a soft voice. “I really appreciate it.” 

Both tired from the long trip from the hospital, Taekwoon and Hakyeon started preparing to hit the sack. Taekwoon had made Hakyeon’s bed in the morning, so there weren’t more to it than changing their clothes and brushing their teeth.   
To change into something more comfortable to sleep in, Hakyeon had to take off his arm sling. Taekwoon watched him from his desk, as Hakyeon with clear difficulty took of the sling and slowly pulled his arm through his sleeve.   
“Do you need help?” Taekwoon asked, already taking a step in Hakyeon’s direction, but the other boy shook his head.   
“I’m fine,” he said with a soft groan as he pulled the T-shirt over his head. While trying to keep his arm in place, he reached out to grab the shirt he had brought to sleep in, but accidentally knocked it down on the floor. He sighed lightly as he kneeled down to pick it up. Just as he was about to get up from the floor, Taekwoon noticed, that Hakyeon was mere inches away from hitting his elbow into the desk.   
“Be careful!” he exclaimed, making Hakyeon stop moving and looking up from the floor. He gave the table a short glance, before carefully getting up.  
“I’ve got it,” Hakyeon said and finally got the T-shirt on. After getting his arm sling back on, he looked at his friend with a calming smile on his lips.  
“Honestly, Taekwoon, I really am okay”, he reassured him. “You don’t have to worry about me.” Taekwoon only nodded, not sure what to say. He wanted to trust Hakyeon’s words, but still he couldn’t shake off the feeling, that Hakyeon’s eyes seemed far duller, than he had ever experienced it before.

***

Taekwoon’s eyes wandered to the clock. There were still a long time until the break, and in dire need to go to the toilet Taekwoon had to leave the class. While the teacher was busy answering a question, Taekwoon quietly got up from his seat and discreetly managed to escape the classroom.   
The halls were empty this time of day, and as Taekwoon walked towards the boys’ restroom the only thing accompanying him was the light sound of talking from the classrooms.   
“Taekwoon!” the silence was abruptly broken, when someone called his name. He quickly turned around to see one of his female teachers.   
“I-I was just going to the bathroom,” he immediately started apologizing. The teacher brushed him off with a smile.   
“Don’t worry, I didn’t come to scold you,” she said with a light chuckle. Her face suddenly turned a bit more serious.  
“Actually, I was wondering, if you knew where Hakyeon is?” she asked. Taekwoon gave her a bewildered look. The last time Taekwoon had seen Hakyeon had been right before the current class had started, when they had gone to their separate classrooms. So Taekwoon shook his head at her question.   
“Do you know if he went to school today?” the teacher kept asking, to which Taekwoon answered: “He did, we went here together.” The worry started to spread around his body, as the teacher hummed in a puzzled tone.   
“He didn’t turn up in class today,” she said.  
“Maybe he didn’t feel well, and went home again,” Taekwoon suggested, having a hard time hiding the shakiness in his voice. The teacher nodded, the smile returning to her face.   
“That might be the case,” she said. “Nonetheless – could you tell him to come see me, if you meet him?” Taekwoon was aware, the school was keeping a close eye on Hakyeon the following couple of weeks. After all he had been through quite a lot.  
“Of course,” he answered. The teacher send him yet another smile and said: “Thank you,” before sending him on his way.   
Taekwoon’s heart was beating rapidly in his chest, as he walked the last few meters to the bathroom. Right when the door closed behind him, he pulled out his phone and dialed Hakyeon’s number. He held the cold screen against his ear, listening to the hollow sound of the ringing phone.  
“Please pick up,” he mumbled to himself with his foot impatiently tapping the floor.

♪ Breathtaking and fantastic   
Fly to the world you want  
I can give you everything, what do you want?  
Trust me, oh I will protect you girl ♪

Taekwoon looked up in surprise, when he heard their song being played from inside one of the stalls. Something was dropped on the floor, and the song was immediately cut off.   
“Hakyeon?” Taekwoon called as he stepped closer to the stall. He could hear the phone getting picked up frantically, but it was quickly dropped again. He leaned over, trying to identify the shoes that he could see under the stall door.   
“Hakyeon, are you in there?” Taekwoon tried calling again, when he didn’t receive an answer. “It’s me Taekwoon.” He took the last few steps towards the door. Up close he could hear the faint sound of sobbing.   
“Hakyeo-“ Taekwoon was about to call his friend for the third time, when the door opened as he rested his hand against it.  
Hakyeon was sitting on the bathroom floor with his head buried in his knees and his arm over his head.   
“Please leave me alone,” Hakyeon pleaded with a shaky voice through his tears. “Please… leave me…”


	14. Chapter 14

“Hakyeon,” Taekwoon said in a hushed voice, kneeling in front of his friend. Hakyeon’s breathing was shallow, and when Taekwoon placed his hand on his shoulder he could feel him shaking. At Taekwoon’s touch, Hakyeon immediately pulled away. The sudden movement made him accidentally hit his injured arm into the stall wall.   
“Don’t touch me!” Hakyeon exclaimed, his voice cracking from the pain. Seeing his best friend in this condition, surely made Taekwoon feel very scared. But he knew he had to stay calm. For Hakyeon.  
“Hakyeon, it’s me Taekwoon,” Taekwoon said with a soft voice. “I’m not gonna hurt you… I’m here to help you.” At Taekwoon’s words, Hakyeon slowly lifted his head to confirm, that it was indeed Taekwoon who was sitting in front of him, and not one of those boys.   
“Taekwoon…” Hakyeon mumbled in a tearful voice. He was clearly having a hard time breathing, but even so he managed to say: “I-I can’t breathe…”  
“You’re gonna be fine,” Taekwoon kept on talking as it seemed he had finally gained Hakyeon’s trust. “Please try to breath slowly and deeply.” He could see Hakyeon’s back slowly raising and sinking showing, that he was trying to do what Taekwoon was telling him too.  
“I-I can’t-“ Hakyeon stammered, forgetting to breathe properly. “They were touching me… pushing me.”   
“You can do it, Hakyeon,” Taekwoon reassured him. “Try closing your eyes and focus on my voice.” Hakyeon’s eyes flickered, but he did as Taekwoon told him to.   
In a calm voice Taekwoon helped Hakyeon focusing on his breathing, breathing in through his nose and exhaling through his mouth, and slowly he finally began to calm down. He was still shaking lightly but at last he had gotten control over his breathing and opened his eyes again.  
“What happened?” Taekwoon asked, the worry returning to his voice. Hakyeon’s glassy eyes were fixed on the floor, as he didn’t dare to look up at Taekwoon. He was too embarrassed after Taekwoon had seen him in this weak condition. It was disgusting.  
“I just… I thought I saw them,” Hakyeon mumbled as he wiped his wet cheeks with his sleeves. “Out in the hallway.”   
“You couldn’t have, they were all expelled while you were gone,” Taekwoon said trying to send Hakyeon a small smile. “You don’t have to be afraid.” Taekwoon noticed, that Hakyeon was quite pale and was convulsively holding his injured arm with his teeth clenched – finally feeling the pain from hitting his arm.   
“Let’s go outside for a moment,” Taekwoon said and finally regained the courage to place his hand on Hakyeon’s arm. “I think you’ll feel better if you get some fresh air.” Giving a silent nod in response, Hakyeon finally got up from the bathroom floor. He was still holding on to his injured arm, being quite hesitant to leave the stall. Taekwoon moved his hand to Hakyeon’s back and gently lead him out of the bathroom. Even though the hallway was empty, Hakyeon walked closely to the wall, afraid that someone would come near and touch him again.   
Together they walked outside and found a bench with a view of the soccer field, where they sat down. Hakyeon’s shirt was sticking to his sweaty body and the cold wind going straight through the thin fabric sent shivers down his spine. Taekwoon noticed how he was shaking lightly, and pulled of his blazer.  
“Here,” he said with a warm voice, handing it to Hakyeon. But Hakyeon shook his head.  
“I don’t want you to be cold,” Hakyeon declined, but Taekwoon didn’t listen. When Hakyeon didn’t take the jacket, Taekwoon put it on him for him, and said: “I won’t be, don’t worry.”   
“Thank you,” Hakyeon said with a voice as thin as paper, his eyes fixed on the ground. “…You’re being too kind to me… I don’t deserve help.” Despite all the conversations they had had, all the forgiving words they had shared, Hakyeon couldn’t help but feeling guilty. Of course, he had been the one kissing Taekwoon’s boyfriend – but that wasn’t even the worst part of it. He had hated Taekwoon. He had hated Taekwoon with all his heart for not doing anything. He had wished for something bad to happen to Taekwoon. It had been the only thought occupying his mind on the nights he hadn’t been able to sleep – terrified to wake up and face all the people that disliked him. No one would ever hope for such horrible things, that he had hoped for, would happen to their best friend. The thought of it made him feel sick. He didn’t deserve Taekwoon’s help.  
“Last year you helped me, when I needed it the most,” Taekwoon said, while fixing the blazer to make sure, that it would protect Hakyeon from the cold. “Now it’s my turn to help you.” He sent one of his rare smiles to Hakyeon, as he said. “Please let me do so… that’s what friends do.” There were silence between them for a few moments, before Hakyeon finally whispered: “Thank you.” 

***

“We’ve already answered the two first questions, but I’m sure you’ll get into it without any problems,” Minhyuk said while picking up The Great Gatsby from Taekwoon’s nightstand. Minhyuk and Taekwoon had been put in the same group for a project, while Taekwoon had been absent due to being with Hakyeon at the hospital.  
“Is there anything I need to do,” Taekwoon asked as he plugged Minhyuk’s USB into his computer. Minhyuk had saved some notes from class for him, and since Hakyeon had gone to talk with a teacher, Taekwoon had thought this was the perfect time to catch up on what he had missed.   
“No, no it’s alright,” Minhyuk said, looking through the book. “Just read through what we’ve already written, then we’ll talk about it in the next class.” The computer was slowly loading the USB and Taekwoon impatiently tapped his fingers on the table.   
“By the way, I have been meaning to ask you, if you’re gonna be at Jongdae’s party Saturday,” Minhyuk said, proceeding to investigate the other things Taekwoon had lying on his night stand.   
“I haven’t really decided yet… but I don’t think I’ll go,” Taekwoon answered. “I think I have too much work to catch up on.”   
“Ah, that sucks,” Minhyuk sighed. The USB finally finished loading, and Taekwoon once again focused his eyes on the screen.   
“I don’t think it would be fair to Hakyeon if I went,” he said. The USB only contained one folder, creatively titled: “Unnamed folder 2”.  
“Is it in the unnamed folder?” Taekwoon asked, looking back at Minhyuk. “Should I just copy the entire folder?” Minhyuk didn’t even look up at Taekwoon, but just continued nosing around, as he answered: “No, no it’s inside the folder.” Taekwoon nodded and returned to the computer, clicking on the folder to open it.  
“It’s a shame you aren’t coming though,” Minhyuk continued rambling about the party. “Jongdae told me that Jisoo is gonna be there.” On the screen the folder opened, and Taekwoon scrolled through it with a puzzled look, when the only thing inside of it was pictures.   
“She’s so hot, it’s fucking crazy- “   
“I think you’ve given me the wrong USB,” Taekwoon said. The pictures seemed to come from a party, and Taekwoon couldn’t help but open one of the pictures. It showed a couple of girls dancing. It had been taken from a slightly lewd angle, but that wasn’t what caught his attention.  
“Are you sure?”  
It was what he spotted behind the girls.  
“Maybe you just opened the wrong folder?”  
Hongbin.   
Without a word Taekwoon quickly went back to the overview of the pictures, and scrolled through them until he found it. The one picture, he had wished to never see again.  
“I was you,” Taekwoon mumbled, not louder than a whisper.  
“What?” Minhyuk asked and finally looked up from the nightstand. “What are you talking about.” He walked closer to Taekwoon, so that he was finally able to see what Taekwoon had found on his USB. On the screen was the picture of Hongbin and Hakyeon entwined in a kiss.


End file.
